


It Was Really Unclear

by Poetry_peaches



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Jet (Avatar), Ember Island (Avatar), Episode: s03e17 The Ember Island Players, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentioned Maiko and Mailee, The Ember Island Players, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, i guess this is canon compliant just add a kiss, i wrote it with pre-zukka in mind but you can interpret it how you want, no beta we die like jet, this is angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29190282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poetry_peaches/pseuds/Poetry_peaches
Summary: “Did Jet just-” Zuko raised an eyebrow. “Die?”He heard Sokka from behind him. “You know, it was really unclear,”Or Zuko finds out about the fate of that one weird guy who asked him to join his gang then attacked him...who Zuko just happened to not be able to stop thinking about.
Relationships: Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Kudos: 51





	It Was Really Unclear

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading!  
> So I guess I should tag this with major character death, but it felt a little unnecessary because...you know...we all know who died. Also, I should mention that there's some very minor/one sided mentions of Mai/Ty Lee and I wrote this fic with the idea that it's pre-zukka but you can interpret it any way you want, there's nothing that really separates them from just being bros in this fic.  
> Also warning for homophobia.

“Did Jet just-” Zuko raised an eyebrow. “Die?”

He heard Sokka from behind him. “You know, it was really unclear,”

Zuko turned back to play, the tightness in his chest that he didn't notice until then, going away. For a second, his mind went down the trail of Jet being dead, but based on how Sokka shrugged it off, it must have been an exaggeration on the playwright’s behalf. Zuko knew Aang and his friends, they took death very seriously. Even though Zuko was sure they had caused a number of bad accidents through the destruction they caused, they clearly weren’t aware of it. If Jet really had died, Sokka wouldn’t have shrugged it off like a joke.

He focused on the play, but he couldn't help his mind from bringing up old memories. Of Jet and Zuko looking out at the stars reflected in the water, their stomachs full, and their adrenaline still high from stealing the food. Jet didn’t say anything, somehow knowing that if he did Zuko would respond in a few words or less. Jet understood that all Zuko wanted to do was stare off at the horizon, and for some reason Jet wanted to do so with Zuko, so Zuko let him. 

That’s what Jet said the next day, right? They understood each other.

Zuko didn’t appreciate it at the time. He just wanted to pout and make everyone else around him feel as bad as he did. He wanted them to know how bad he was feeling.

Then, Jet looked at him with his dark eyes that were as black as the sky above them. Zuko understood what the look meant, but he just stared back. Then Jet slowly leaned in, gracing the tips of his fingers to Zuko’s cheek, and kissed him.

Zuko kissed back, briefly, then fear flooded his mind. Fear of his father seeing, fear of some Fire Nation guard throwing him in jail, his uncle seeing and being disappointed in him, and even though homosexulaity wasn’t illegal in the Earth Kingdom, it still wasn’t widely accepted, and so if another passenger saw, they’d be filled with disgust.

Zuko walked away from Jet, ignoring his confused questions. Yet, the next day he still asked him to join his gang, like nothing happened. Maybe he understood Zuko’s fears.

Maybe he knew he was a firebender the whole time and planning to trick him so he could report him to the Dai Lee when the time was right.

Looking at the caricature of his father, engulfed in silk flames onstage, he realized how important Jet was to him. Nobody had ever shown him it was okay to be like...that. He spent so long thinking he was living a lie.

Homosexuality was only illegal in the Fire Nation for the past one hundred years, even with all the propaganda, the general public still wasn’t extremely opposed to it. Or, that’s what Zuko researched. He didn’t know what he was like until he was traveling on the ship with uncle. Even when he and Mai told people they were “dating” he didn’t know that it wasn’t what he wanted. It wasn’t like he had any male friends to compare his experiences and feelings to. He then began to observe more and more people in the Earth Kingdom who lived with a roommate of the same gender even though they were too old to have a roommate, he saw two women drape their arms around each other when they thought he wasn’t looking while he questioned them about the Avatar.

Then, everything clicked. So many questions he had about himself were answered and it was relieving, for a moment. Then, it was horrible. As soon as he went back to the Fire Nation, he researched about everything he could find about the Fire Nation’s relationship with same sex couples. In the capital, there were a few harsh punishments a few times a year and lots of propaganda, but the further away you got, the less the law was patrolled. But being a prince meant it was still impossible, even if it wasn’t looked down on by the general public.

One of the nicest things his father actually ever did for him was take him aside during that short period he spent back in the Fire Nation, hinting that he knew Zuko was gay. Zuko had no idea how he knew, maybe he knew since his childhood, even if they barely interacted with each other then (or ever). When he pulled him aside, though, he never said it directly, and Zuko couldn’t remember his exact words, but the message was clear; if I or anyone else catches you even looking too long at a man, you’ll regret it.

It was terrifying, but in the big picture of things, anytime he didn't lay a hand on him seemed nice. 

He obeyed his father, even dating Mai who clearly only liked him because it made her parents happy, but Zuko didn’t care. Mai was his best friend and was someone to hang out with, even if both of them knew it was fake as she saw his disinterest in anything romantic and he saw the way she looked at Ty Lee. 

But Jet...he was the first person to show him that what he felt was okay, even if it was a brief peck on the lips and then some nice words. More than that, he acted like it was nothing out of the ordinary, he’d even invited him to join his gang. 

Zuko had met those people in the Earth Kingdom, he researched the laws of the Fire Nation, he sat with Mai as Ty Lee talked about a boy she liked, and he felt the tension oozing out of her. He got his hands on old stories that he would be arrested for owning, including an extremely strange one that claimed to know the true reason why Sozin outlawed homosexulity (a reason that involved his other great-grandfather), but he never thought he’d be able to have that too, even just for one bittersweet moment.

Even if it was all a trick.

Zuko tried to convince himself Jet probably didn’t figure it out until Uncle firebent his tea directly in front of him, but it was hard to have that nagging thought leave his brain. He tried to tell himself that logically, the two of them were very similar. Yes, they barely knew each other, but they both shared a trait that anyone could see; they were obsessed. Zuko with finding the Avatar, Jet with the Fire Nation. That kind of obsession was all consuming, once they would find the smallest thing linked to it, it would spread inside their thoughts and take it over. It was fire, the thing Jet hated so much. Jet wouldn’t be able to stop the fire long enough to kiss the person that was everything he hated. Zuko knew that. He still wasn’t sure why anybody would want him, that wasn’t a girl, but he could settle for Jet not being disgusted in him enough to think of another plan.

Maybe, in the future, he would still have to hide this part of himself. Maybe when Aang defeated his father and Uncle took the throne, with Zuko first in line after him, he’d say he was straight. Maybe he’d have to marry some daughter of an Earth Kingdom governor or a rich Fire Nation noblewoman+, but he could still hold onto Jet. Jet, the boy he barely even knew, a boy who tried to get him arrested. He still looked at Zuko that one night, not caring about Zuko’s sour attitude. His eyes still darted to Zuko’s lips while he closed the gap between them.

He wondered how Jet was doing these days.

The play ended somberly, and the walk back to the beach house was somber and quiet, but there was a general feeling in the air that nobody was quite ready to go to bed yet. So, they made a fire on the beach and sat around it, in the cool sand. At first, it stayed quiet, before Toph and Sokka broke the silence by making fun of the play.

“How was that play even produced?” Sokka asked. “Who’d give money to that,”

“Maybe the producer didn’t read the script,” Katara shrugged. “That has to be the only explanation,”

Everyone seemed to let go of their own insecurities that made them hate the way they were portrayed as they focused more on the other characters and the plot.

“I mean, how could Mai’s actor even see? Her hair was basically past her nose,”

“Why was the bear controlling the Earth King?”

“Um, have you met the Earth King? I think that’s one of the only parts they got right,”

“Zuko’s scar was on the wrong side,”

“What is this scar everyone is talking about?” (that was Toph).

Zuko finally spoke up, thinking of the person who was on his mind for the past few hours. “And what was going on with Jet? They made it looked like he died,”

Nobody responded, they all just stared at him, squinting at him. 

“What?” He asked, crossing his arms. 

Katara was the first to move, as she leaned in closer to the fire and blinked slowly. “What are you talking about, Zuko?”

“Don’t you guys remember? It was pretty clearly implying that he died,” Was he interpreting the play wrong? Then why would Sokka say what he did?

“No, I mean….he did die….in real life,” Katara said hesitantly.

“Wha-” Zuko’s mind felt foggy and was moving both slower and faster than the world was spinning. He looked to Sokka, who’s face matched the same level of confusion that everyone else wore. Why did he say what he did?

Before Zuko realized it, he was standing up and backing away from the group.

“What’s wrong, Zuko?” Suki asked softly.

“Did you-” Sokka shook his head. “Nevermind,”

“What?” Toph asked.

Sokka looked at Zuko for a moment before he continued, “Did you know him?”

“Um…” He looked at Toph, she’d be able to tell if he lied, and if he lied everyone else would ask about it, based on their reaction now. “Yeah, we met on the way to-” His voice cracked. “-to Ba Sing Se-I have to go-” He speed walked away from the group, not paying attention to whatever happened behind him as he made his way to the edge of the beach.

This was mortifying. A guy he didn’t even know well made wet tears run down his face, and everyone probably saw in the firelight before he ran away like a child. He sighed and sat down in the sand, the water coming dangerously close to his feet every few seconds.

He rested his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hands, trying not to resist the tears. He just let them roll down his face. He didn’t question why this upset him so much, sometimes it was better to just let your emotions be as they are, without interpreting them. That’s something Uncle would say. 

He wasn’t sure how long it was before the inevitable soft voice from behind him said, “Zuko?”

Zuko took a deep breath before turning around, expecting everyone to be there. He was wrong though, as Sokka was the only one who stood before him. The rest of the group still sat around the fire in the distance.

“Can I sit with you?” He whispered to him. Zuko nodded as Sokka planted himself in the sand in front of Zuko, sitting on his calves. It looked uncomfortable.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sokka asked, gazing strongly into Zuko’s eyes. Zuko looked away, focusing on the houses in the distance instead.

“Not really,” 

Sokka frowned, the only sound coming from the ocean behind them and the light, incomprehensible voices of their friends. Zuko could feel his eyes continue to stare at him. “I’m going to be honest with you, I’m extremely curious to know how you know him,” He raised his hands in defense as Zuko tensed. “Sorry, but it's not everyday you met a kid willing to kill a town full of Fire Nation citizens because he hates the Fire Nation that much be mourned by the prince of the Fire Nation,”

“I don’t know all that,” Zuko said. “We met on a ferry, and we...he asked....we were friends, I guess. But I never saw him again until he attacked my uncle in his shop, saying we were firebenders….we fought, then the Dai Lee took him away,”

Sokka hummed, stroking his chin. “Must’ve been a memorable friendship,”

“It was more than that…” Zuko felt his face heat up, yet he still wanted to say the words that came to his mind. “He kissed me...he was the first…” Zuko looked at Sokka.

Sokka’s brows shot up. “No way,” He said, almost angrily. “You and Jet kissed?”

Zuko hesitantly nodded.

“Ugh! Not you too,”

Zuko felt his blood boil. The first person he ever told this to actually looked angry at him. Zuko thought the Avatar and his friends were supposed to be progressive and understanding….not this. Especially people that weren’t from the Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom. One of the reasons why his tutors told Zuko that the Water Tribes were savages (which he now knew they aren’t, obviously) was because they allow same sex relationships….well, he guessed that was propaganda too.

Zuko jumped to his feet. “Well, good to know how you guys react to this sort of thing,” He started to walk past him, but Sokka got to his feet and held him back by his forearm.

“What are you talking about?” Sokka tilted his head, then he gasped and quickly said, “I’m so sorry, I forgot that everywhere isn’t like the water tribe,” He then dropped his hand while Zuko glared at him. He made sure Zuko wasn’t going to walk away before he continued slowly, “I’m not upset that you’re gay, like at all, I’m just surprised that everyone is attracted to that guy. I don’t get it,”

Zuko pulled his arm out of Sokka’s grasp. “Was attracted to him. He’s dead now, even though you clearly don’t care,”

“Wait-”

“How could you talk about him like that? I thought that your group are the good guys, I thought you respected death? Remember Katara with her mother?” Zuko vented. “Spirits, Aang couldn’t even talk about killing my father-the crazy tyrannical Firelord-without breaking down, and now you’re here judging a boy’s looks and laughing about his death?”

Zuko huffed and glanced at Sokka’s face when he ran out of words he wanted to say. Sokka’s eyes were wide and searching Zuko’s expression.

“You know,” Sokka said softly. “I didn’t want Katara to kill that man because it would be bad on her conscience, I’m not sure if he deserved to die or not….but in a war we don’t get to choose that, anyway,”

Zuko frowned.

“Jet sacrificed himself for us, he died for us, but so many other people have to,” Sokka said. “We’ve been at war for 100 years, my mother died, Jet died, and so many others have, some because of us,” His eyebrows furrowed. “Aang’s a pacifist, Katara has so much empathy for everyone, Toph’s twelve years old...but they’re some of the most powerful benders in the world. I’m the one who has to hide the deaths they cause from them,” He stared intently at Zuko, his face serious. “Someone has to, it might be the one thing I’m good for,”

He stepped closer to Zuko, his blue eyes meeting his own. “Jet’s dead, and I appreciate his sacrifice, but it took literal brainwashing to make he so he didn’t want to murder a town of innocent civillans,” He then moved to walk past him, but this time Zuko stopped him, blocking his path.

“Wait-” He put his hand up in front of Sokka. “I...I barely knew him,”

“Yeah, well, he would try to kill you and everyone you loved, even if did cry over him,”

Zuko couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, he already did,”

Sokka hesitated, then grinned as well. There were a few moments of awkward silence, before Sokka broke it. “So...that must’ve been some kiss, huh?”

Zuko gaped at him. “What?”

“I mean, you are crying over him,” He pointed out. “Yet you barely knew him,”

“It’s not...it wasn’t…” Zuko was being forced to examine his feelings, something he hated doing. Maybe that wasn’t something Uncle would advise against at all. Maybe Zuko didn't examine his feelings enough. “It wasn’t the kiss, well maybe it was…”

Sokka let him stumble over his words.

“I never thought that I’d-this is stupid,”

“No it’s not,” Sokka said quickly, cutting him off. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you try to open up at all, I mean, you won’t even tell me where you got that scar from,”

“And I’m not going to,” Zuko glared at him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, it was just an example,” Sokka said. “...But it’s good to open up, to talk about things. You were the first person I told about Yue, without chickening out about it,”

Yue, the moon princess. Zuko didn’t think he was being literal that day on the balloon. He didn’t know what to think at all. It was heartbreaking, like a sad drama his mother would take their family to see, not just a small part of a ridiculous one. Sokka opened up to him about his lost love...not that Zuko loved Jet, he barely knew him, it still was something, though.

“Fine,” Zuko said, telling himself it was just to even things out with Sokka because of Yue. It was only fair. “For the past few years, I accepted that even if I became the Firelord, I would always have to hide this part of myself. I didn’t care, because all I cared about was the Avatar, until I went to Ba Sing Se. I saw people living their lives and being happy, just with the simple things. I thought they were stupid, until I didn’t. Part of me envied them...so when I went home for a few weeks, I thought that my experience with Jet was the only thing I could hang onto for that part of myself,”

Zuko realized how much he said, and that he said it while looking at his shoes. He looked up at Sokka. He looked concerned, and confused.

“...That’s rough, buddy,”

Zuko rolled his eyes.

“That was funny, don’t deny it,” Sokka said before putting his hand on Zuko’s shoulder. He smiled at him. “I’m glad that you told me that, though,”

“You know, it’s not the only thing you're good for,” Zuko said suddenly, remembering what he had said.

“What?” Sokka asked, tilting his head.

Zuko suddenly felt his face become hot. Was this a corny thing to say? Spirits, Zuko didn’t know how to act around people that considered him a friend.

He glanced at Sokka’s face, his brown skin glowing in the moonlight. No, he needed to know.

“What you said earlier, about hiding death from Aang, and Katara, and Toph,” Zuko explained. “That’s not the only thing you’re good for,”

Sokka’s brows raised. “Oh….I was just saying it because, you know, they’re the benders, fighting people and…”

“Just because you’re not a bender, doesn’t mean you’re not useful,” Zuko said, deadly serious. “You have leadership and strategist skills that I can't even comprehend. Even back when I saw chasing you guys, I considered you just as much a threat as the others,”

Sokka’s eyes were wide. “Oh...thank you,”

He patted his shoulder in a way that he hoped was comforting, smiling softly, and then walked past him, ignoring his heartbeat pumping against his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading! I would love your feedback in the form of a comment if you feel up to it, I love constructive criticism :)  
> Also, come talk to me on tumblr here https://cinematic-parallels.tumblr.com/ or @cinematic-parallels I'm always looking for people to chat with


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